Kink Coaching

Sometimes the key to self-discovery and change lies in the most unusual place

How we engage in BDSM often tells us more about ourselves than traditional forms of self-reflection. Why?

Because kink is a deeply emotional and highly embodied personal experience

Whether you’re a beginner or seasoned kinkster, kink coaching helps you (re-)discover exiled parts of your personality, identify what needs ache to be met, bring to light your stengths, transform harmful patterns, and foster a sense of safety so you can form meaningful connections and let yourself shamelessly indulge.

Kink coaching is a chance to learn about yourself in unique and unorthodox ways. It uses what BDSM shows you about yourself to make profound changes in your life.

Kink coaching is for people who sense that they’re drawn to BDSM to manage and process personal challenges, who want their sex lives to feel ethereal and cathartic, and for people who are curious and want to try it out.

Whether you’re a beginner or are already experienced, the full potential of BDSM is available to you.

Kink for Beginners

Photo: Karsten Buch

If you’re curious about kink and want to know more, this is for you.

Whether you’re discovering BDSM for yourself or have a partner you’d like to explore it with, kink coaching helps you engage in kink in a way that is truly your own, instead of some prescribed idea of what it should look like.

ONLY FOR PEOPLE OVER THE AGE OF MAJORITY 18+

Kink for Growth

Photo: Karsten Buch

This is for people who want to harness the healing potential of BDSM for personal development and self-discovery.

Kink often puts us in touch with parts of us that can’t be reached with raditional forms of coaching. Kink coaching helps you access these parts in order to heal and grow.

If the pastel-colored, love-and-light vibes of the mainstream coaching industry don’t resonate with you, consider a more unconventional approach.

ONLY FOR PEOPLE OVER THE AGE OF MAJORITY 18+

How we live is often how we engage in kink

We don’t leave our personality, our trauma or life experiences at the play room door. Many of us are drawn to kink out of a desire to fulfill emotional or relational needs, engage with the less-accepted parts of our personality or process traumatic experiences. Yet most of the time we are not conscious of it and so we don’t engage in kink with as much intentionality as might benefit us.

The world of kink is varied and diverse

Kink can absolutely be “just” easy and light-hearted fun. Yet for those who feel drawn to something more, there are many untapped lessons and tools from kink that can help you fortify, care for yourself, transform, explore and find connection.

ONLY FOR PEOPLE OVER THE AGE OF MAJORITY 18+

How it works

After scheduling a date and time, we meet online just like you would in any other online coaching. You can expect a relaxed atmosphere, bring a cup of tea if you like.

You can share as much or as little as you feel comfortable. You won’t be judged for how much experience you have or don’t have, how many people you have or haven’t slept with, or the things you have or haven’t tried. You won’t be shamed for any of your sexual preferences, whether they’re traditional or risqué. And there is no such thing as a stupid question.

We talk about what’s on your mind and go from there. If you have specific wants, we’ll get cracking on those. If you have no idea what you want, we’ll figure it out. All at your own pace.

If you have more questions, check out the FAQs below or send me a message.

FAQs

  • Kink coaching takes place online on Skype.

  • BDSM and everything to do with it can seem scary, unapproachable, secretive and aloof, but you don’t have to worry about that here.

    The kink coaching setting is like any online coaching you might expect.

    We meet online for a chat, address the topics you want to explore further and discuss the next steps.

    You are under no obligation to share anything that you’re not comfortable sharing.

  • Of course.

    What matters is your interest in BDSM and whether you feel positively drawn to it.

    Nobody will judge you for not being experienced. You’re not uncool if you’ve never done anything kinky.

  • Kink coaching is for anyone who wants to be more intentional in engaging with BDSM and would like kink to support their growth process.

    If you already play, you will have more experience to draw from and build on.

    You can harness the potential of BDSM for self-development, healing and growth regardless of how long you’ve been in the kink scene.

  • No, I don’t offer services as a dominatrix or as a professional submissive.

  • No, I am not a therapist. I am a certified somatic coach and psychological counselor.

    I have trained in emotional and somatic trauma integration, I am a death doula, and I have 20+ years of experience supporting people in challenging situations including: supporting people at the end of life, caregiving, crisis center work, counseling queer and trans* people of color, psychedelic care and working in some of the world’s most marginalized countries.

    Most importantly though, I draw from my own experience in transforming deep-set trauma and behavioral patterns, as well as my experience in the kink scene. I am self-taught in many topics around early childhood development, trauma and our nervous system. I do not claim to be an expert on these issues.

    All of this experiences usually gives me an acute sense of what could be helpful to you and I have a range of tools under my belt to support you.

  • Despite my formal qualifications I believe it is actually my personal path of overcoming early childhood trauma and narcissistic abuse, a lifetime of dealing with structural inequality, my intercultural understanding and experience growing up in some of the world’s most poverty-stricken areas, my curiosity and desire to try anything once, my keen sense of observation and ability to sniff out patterns, as well as my journey in the kink world that equip me to coach self-development from such an unusual perspective. I didn’t learn these things at school and yet they are my most valuable assets.

    School doesn’t prepare us for life. Life does.

    Nevertheless, some of my formal qualifications that supported me on my path are:

    Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Social Science

    Master of Science (MSc.) in International Development Studies

    Postgraduate certification in Applied Methods and Techniques for International Development

    Certification as a Death Doula

    Certification in Somatic and Emotional Integration

    Certification as a Psychological and Systemic Counselor and Coach

  • I don’t offer free discovery sessions.

    If you need more information before booking, you can read more about me and my journey here, or contact me if you have a more specific question.

  • Single sessions cost €120 for 1 hour.

    If you know you’d like to delve a little deeper, you can also choose to purchase a 5-session package for €500.

  • You can schedule and purchase individial kink coaching sessions here.

    If you’d like to purchase a 5-session package, contact me.

  • You can cancel or reschedule a kink coaching session by sending an email at least 24hrs in advance to info[at]piquelingerie.com .

    In case of cancellation or rescheduling less than 24hrs in advance, the coaching session is forfeited.

  • No, purchased coaching sessions can’t be refunded.

    If you’re not sure if you want to commit to a package, feel free to start with a single session. You can book it here.

  • I’m Aranja, hello. You can find out more about me here.

  • You can e-mail me your questions using the contact form and I’ll get back to you. I’d love to hear from you.

ONLY FOR PEOPLE OVER THE AGE OF MAJORITY (18+)