Kink for Beginners

If you found your way here, chances are you’re feeling that tug towards BDSM.

Perhaps you’ve fantasized about giving or receiving pain, slipping into different roles or experimenting with toys and torture - and your body responds positively. Maybe you’re drawn to the thrill of playing on the edge.

Perhaps you’ve been looking for something more exciting, more intense in the bedroom. Maybe you’ve been playing behind closed doors, but would now like to explore the wider kink community. Or maybe you’re dating someone who is kinky and want to find out how to meet them in that space.

Whatever your motivation, you know you feel drawn to kink

But for whatever reason, you’ve been unable to take the next steps to enter this ever so secretive scene.

Photo: Dana Stenner

There are so many reasons why getting started in kink can be difficult

Here are just a few:

  • it’s hard to find information applicable to you and you have no idea where to begin

  • you’re drawn to BDSM, but what you’ve seen and heard about it doesn’t really resonate with you

  • you don’t know anyone whom you could ask about BDSM

  • you’re pretty certain you’re kinky, but you’re not sure what you’d be into

  • the kink scene seems so secretive and intimidating. How would you get in or know how to behave?

  • you want to try BDSM, but you don’t want to make mistakes or put yourself at risk

  • you want to go to a kinky party, but worry about participating in things you’re not into or ready for

  • you wonder whether you’re cool, attractive, outgoing, tough (etc.) enough to engage in BDSM

  • you can’t shake the feeling that there is something wrong with you for wanting BDSM

  • you want something different in the bedroom, but you’re hesitant to voice your desires

  • you have so many questions and nowhere to ask them (seriously, where can you ask this stuff?).

We all come to kink for different reasons

The challenges we face in getting started are not the same. What works for one person may not work for another.

The good news is that it’s possible to explore kink in a way that is truly your own, instead of some prescribed idea of what kink should look like.

Many of us, especially in the beginning, don’t realize this

Photo: Dana Stenner

The advantage of the coaching process is that it invites you to explore kink in a way that is tailored to who you are. I don’t “teach” BDSM because there isn’t a single “correct” way to do BDSM.

BDSM is as deep and diverse as the people practicing it and as much about what happens on the inside as on the outside

Kink for beginners covers both the practical aspects of kink around how to get started, find a play partner and create your first scene. It also looks at inner aspects like needs, desires, boundaries and being specific in what you ask for. We don’t all want the same things from kink and knowing your unique motivation will help you craft more fulfilling experiences.

No matter where you are in your kink journey, all of this potential is available to you

Kink coaching is an iterative process that can get you started in BDSM in a way that feels safe, fun and meaningful.

Photo: Dana Stenner

Kink for beginners gives you:

  • a foundation of what BDSM means and looks like in real life

  • an introduction to safety and consent, as well as play party etiquette and dress codes

  • basic BDSM skills (rope bondage, use of whips and floggers etc.)

  • a solid understanding of what you personally want from kink and what your limits are

  • your individual starting point in kink and guidance as you take your first steps into the scene

  • assertive communication skills to ask for what you want, draw boundaries and advocate for your health and safety

  • a non-judgmental space to ask all of your questions (yes, even the embarrassing ones)

If you want to go deeper, kink coaching can also help you:

  • explore any internal shame, fear or uncertainty you may have around BDSM

  • confront any thoughts of “what’s wrong with me?” because you want to (consensually) hurt or be hurt by people

  • meet alter egos, role play characters and/or parts of your personality that want to come out and play

  • examine any shadow aspects that emerge

  • for deeper exploration, I recommend kink coaching for growth

Photo: Dana Stenner

In our coaching sessions I introduce you to the many facets of BDSM and invite you to feel into which parts resonate with you (or not). Together we explore what aspects of BDSM you want to invite into your life and how you want playing to feel.

Then we will lay the necessary groundwork, suited to your pace and personality, for you to enter safely and confidently into the kinky experiences you want to have.

If you’ve been feeling that urge to explore BDSM, find yourself fantasizing about it and your body responds positively to the idea, consider following that nudge.

You inner kinkster will thank you

ONLY FOR PEOPLE OVER THE AGE OF MAJORITY 18+